Stupid beauty queen, redux

I tell you, after watching Palin make an idiot of herself with Katie Couric

I couldn’t help but remember THIS foolery.

This race has turned into such a damn joke.


no moral compass

Read this.

There are some reality shows that test the characters of contestants by placing very obvious distractions in their surroundings to see how they will respond. Perhaps a wad of cash is placed on the sidewalk while a hidden camera captures the actions of passersby to see who, if anyone, will do the right thing. These shows are typically good for a few laughs- as 9 times out of 9, the subjects fail miserably.

What happened in Connecticut was no reality show. There were no laughs. In fact, after reading this article, some would be moved to tears, as this is not just a statement of a few folks in Connecticut. What happened in Connecticut could easily happen in any street anywhere in America.

The Golden Rule, as illustrated in the Bible “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” has morphed over the years in our eyes into something far from noble. Now, we are bred to look out for number one, to “do me” and anyone who doesn’t find success in their life- well its only because they aren’t doing what they need to do to get ahead and its not our problem. Right? This desensitzing happens gradually, i’m sure. One too many homeless people laying in the streets justifies our notion to divert our eyes and pick up our pace if we see someone sleeping on the ground. One too many pandhandlers and, come on, its to be expected for us to roll the window up and pretend that we don’t see the man standing outside our window. “i’m sure he’ll just take the money and buy drugs with it. I’m not supporting his addiction”. A long time ago, I’ve muttered this very expression. Until mental illness affected someone very close to me and I understood how easily it is for someone to literally have everything and end up sleeping in the dirt under a bridge. We are the self help generation, emphasis on self. We are learning, thanks to Dr. Oz and Oprah how to take very good care of ourselves, so much so, that we don’t have much room in our hearts left for others. 

At least not when it counts.

Even the young woman who pointed this story out to me, after being absolutely horrifed for a good two seconds, was able to move on to the next tabloid fodder- this story easily forgetten. Its lessons moved to the back burner. Our society has become a society of distractions. You report to the office for an eight hour day, but there are plenty of distractions to keep your mind otherwise occupied. The horrors of the world are presented blaringly at the top of  the newssites and the word is quickly passed amongst the web of cubicles. And then, when the next story comes up, the previous horrors are forgotten. And it goes on and on. Nothing is “real” anymore because everything is TOO damn real to process. When we are presented with real life that may be too heavy to deal with, we do what we are programmed to do, what the driver who pulled back into traffic did- allow ourselves to be horrified for one brief moment, and then we keep it moving. Because of course, whatever is happening before our very eyes is not our problem. Someone should do something for the love of God, but it won’t be me, I’m not getting involed…right?

Do unto others.

My heart aches not only for this man, but it aches for all of us. Because that could easily have been you or I lying on the streets with the world simply passing us by, watching us suffer, waiting for someone ELSE to help.

Do unto others.

When we think noone is watching, when  noone else is there to make us feel noble for our actions, we should always be accountable. We are our brother’s keeper- like it or not, that is what we’ve been charged with. Eventually, we will need to accept that charge and step up to the plate. We have to. Because we can all complain about the world that we live in not being that great a place to be right now. But we can also do something about it. And reach out to one another. And make it better.


It really IS that simple.







Back in the summer of last year on my birthday, I went to a fight party with a couple friends to a big house filled with strangers. Seeing as how it was my birthday, I had a little more than usual to drink. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I ended up in a conversation ( started by me) in which I was discussing why I tended to root for the underdog. Somehow, at a fight party at the end of July, yours truly was engaged in a heated conversation with a total stranger about a team called the New York Giants who would end up winning it all. Of course, I personally don’t remember this conversation, given the intoxicating effects of Ba.cardi Limon, but I have been teased since then about my antics. Who but me gets into talk of football in the middle of July at a fight party? Sigh. Its been a tough season, my friends. A tough season. But, TONIGHT….TONIGHT, on a beautiful Sunday night in February, I can say that I feel vindicated. After months of rooting for Eli, being unwavering in my support- of defacing the whiteboards of everyone in my office with proclamations that the NY Giants are in fact, #1- I, dearlesley, have been vindicated.







I can’t even talk to y’all right now I’m so damn excited.

for shame

 A while ago I attempted to give up celebrity blogging sites. My reasons weren’t noble in the least- I just found that way too much of my time was being spent visiting these fluff sites countless times a day.

Today, I feel disgusted and sickened that my support of these blogs essentially contributes to just how sick and twisted they are. Whille visiting T.MZ today I was completely taken aback to see a raggedy camp of paparazzi idiots standing post outside the funeral home where H.eath Led.gers body rests. Their hopes are to catch the mourners as they come to take part in the viewing that is to take place today.

Sure I know that a lot of deaths are “newsworthy”. We see presidents lying in state for the whole country to mourn publicly. We see their families performing their duties stoicly, standing emotionless, perhaps sedated even just to get through the formalities. What we all are spared are those initial private moments when the pain is freshest and despair cuts deep. When they are free to take their time and deal with the shock of what is really happening.  How we can feel that its newsworthy to share with the world such a private moment breaks my heart.

The lowest point of my life wasn’t the awful moment when I learned of my mother’s accident. It wasn’t even the funeral or standing at her gravesite, telling myself that “wow, this is REALLY happening”. The worst part of the whole experience was walking through the doors of the funeral home for the first time to see what was left of her. And for the family and friends of this man, that is being stolen. And my actions over the past couple of years serve as an accessory to this vile act.

The level of depravity in what is happening is only trumped by the fact that we tell ourselves that what we do is harmless. That visiting the sites everyday all day has nothing to do with the vultures that suck the lives out of the people they stalk tormenting them and driving them to all sorts of crazy behavior( living life in a fishbowl cannot be fun, I don’t care how much of an attention whore you might be). All this for what? So we can have interesting pictures to copy/paste and pass around to our friends? Get the fuq….

 I’m disappointed in myself because I know that after the initial shock of whats happening right now wears off, I will slip right back into the same habits- allowing myself to forget that these are REAL people who feel and think and exist the same way that I do and then convincing myself that they signed on for all this.

Right now as the family of this troubled man prepare to say their final goodbyes,  I know thats not true at all.