so this is what it feels like to be single.
I have been in a relationship for the better part of the past 10 years. When you get to the point where things aren’t moving forward and you lose interest in making the effort, its best to part ways before the love that brought you together turns sadly into something cold and mean.
Parts of me are looking forward to being single. Of no longer being accountable to another person. Of having the freedom to do whatever I please or to do nothing at all. Mainly the time I will be afforded to once again focus on myself and the personal goals that have taken a back burner for various reasons. At 36 there is still loads of living to do and I embrace that.
Parts of me are scared shitless. Starting over after such a long time, when your habits and very lifestyle for the better part of your adult life have included this other person. Seperating from the one person that knows you almost better than you know yourself. Being scared of being happy without someone is a weird feeling that I can’t begin to explain, let alone make sense of.
I’m pretty sure I’ll be taking to this blog again while I work through everything. Find my legs again. Rediscover myself. Luckily- my daughter has a ton going on that will take a lot of energy. Luckily ( or maybe not so luckily) I have to study for my PMP agan which will take up almost every free moment. Luckily- I will be working with a friend on a couple of exciting projects to keep me occupied. Luckily- life goes on.
We’ll see how it goes.