where has the time gone

It took me longer than normal to get into Christmas spirit this year. I think I haven’t really come to grasp with how quickly this year has passed. Honestly, I feel as if I just celebrated the fourth of July and here we are at the end of another year. I managed to get the things on my list about an hour before the stores closed on Christmas Eve. Although its become something of a tradition for me to do my shopping on Christmas Eve, I think its safe to say that from now on, its time for me to try something new-namely finishing all my shopping before December even gets here. My nerves are bad and after I had to literally talk myself out of dragging that lady out of her car and beating her down in the parking lot- I think its best not to put myself in such stressful situations. Now, I’m coming down off my sugar and food induced high and trying to put things in perspective for the new year. I have a new job that I really like, some new friends, and a new perspective on what it really takes to make me happy. I’m not making any resolutions this year. I’m not really making any plans. I think I’m going to just focus on the things that bring joy to my life and hope that I do the things that I need to do to increase my joy. Its been a year filled with ups, downs and in betweens. Surprisingly, I wouldn’t change much of what I have been through. I have had to learn some pretty harsh and painful lessons over the year- lessons that I needed to learn that I feel have helped me to become an even better person. Who knows what 2009 will bring. One can only hope and have faith that it is a year of abundance, and joy and growth-spiritually, mentally, professionaly, in all aspects. I am so thankful for so many things today. Thankful for my family who I haven’t spent a lot of time with over the past year but who have been there for me, loving me from the arms length distance I have been holding them at for whatever reason. I love where I come from and realize that I won’t get anywhere without their love and support. I’m thankful for love- enduring lasting love that has grown and changed along with me as I’ve grown and changed. I’m thankful for friends. Friends who make me laugh, friends who let me cry and friends who make me see myself when I’m being a big dummy- who don’t back down when they have me against a wall and raging at the world. I’m thankful for my daughter….my daughtet who is the abosolute best thing in my life. Who is living proof that I contributed something beautiful and RIGHT to this world. My daughter who makes me laugh, who knows when I will cry, who makes me stronger and just makes me so proud to KNOW her, let alone be her mother.  I am thankful for my father, who still makes me feel that he will protect me from the world everytime I talk to him. Despite differences we’ve had over the past couple years, we both know that I will always be Daddy’s Little Girl and it gives me more comfort than I can even express. I’m just thankful to be entering into my 35th year with the foundation that those around me have helped me to create, to stand on, and to plant my feet firmly as I prepare for the new year full of unknowns. God has truly been good to me. Better to me that I have felt worthy of, but He has been SO good and I”m thankful. Thankful. Hopeful. Happy.

I’m supposed to be blogging everyday for a month. For those who have visited the original LAB, you may know this probably won’t happen. Just in case I revert back to my old ways, have a WONDERFUL, BLESSED and HAPPY New Year. You deserve it!!


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