A while ago I attempted to give up celebrity blogging sites. My reasons weren’t noble in the least- I just found that way too much of my time was being spent visiting these fluff sites countless times a day.
Today, I feel disgusted and sickened that my support of these blogs essentially contributes to just how sick and twisted they are. Whille visiting T.MZ today I was completely taken aback to see a raggedy camp of paparazzi idiots standing post outside the funeral home where H.eath Led.gers body rests. Their hopes are to catch the mourners as they come to take part in the viewing that is to take place today.
Sure I know that a lot of deaths are “newsworthy”. We see presidents lying in state for the whole country to mourn publicly. We see their families performing their duties stoicly, standing emotionless, perhaps sedated even just to get through the formalities. What we all are spared are those initial private moments when the pain is freshest and despair cuts deep. When they are free to take their time and deal with the shock of what is really happening. How we can feel that its newsworthy to share with the world such a private moment breaks my heart.
The lowest point of my life wasn’t the awful moment when I learned of my mother’s accident. It wasn’t even the funeral or standing at her gravesite, telling myself that “wow, this is REALLY happening”. The worst part of the whole experience was walking through the doors of the funeral home for the first time to see what was left of her. And for the family and friends of this man, that is being stolen. And my actions over the past couple of years serve as an accessory to this vile act.
The level of depravity in what is happening is only trumped by the fact that we tell ourselves that what we do is harmless. That visiting the sites everyday all day has nothing to do with the vultures that suck the lives out of the people they stalk tormenting them and driving them to all sorts of crazy behavior( living life in a fishbowl cannot be fun, I don’t care how much of an attention whore you might be). All this for what? So we can have interesting pictures to copy/paste and pass around to our friends? Get the fuq….
I’m disappointed in myself because I know that after the initial shock of whats happening right now wears off, I will slip right back into the same habits- allowing myself to forget that these are REAL people who feel and think and exist the same way that I do and then convincing myself that they signed on for all this.
Right now as the family of this troubled man prepare to say their final goodbyes, I know thats not true at all.