Jesus, take the wheel

morning.jpg

 I like to wake up:

1) to soft kisses

2) to the smell of bacon cooking in the kitchen (yum)

3) peacefully, with sunbeams dancing across my face gently coaxing me from my slumber

4) WHEN I’M READY TO GET UP

 I do not like to wake up:

1) Because I have to pee

2) To the phone ringing

3) To a house thats too hot/too cold

4) Alone

5) To a blaring alarm clock

6) To a blaring alarm clock that doesn’t belong to me

7) To a blaring alarm clock that doesn’t belong to me that happens to belong to my neighbor

8) To a blaring alarm clock that doesn’t belong to me that happens to belong to my neighbor that continues blaring for an hour

9) To a blaring alarm clock that doesn’t belong to me that happens to belong to my niehgbor that continues blaring for an hour after having come on at FOUR AM

10) To a blaring alarm clock that doesn’t belong to me that happens to belong to my neighbor that continues blaring for an hour after having come on at FOUR AM that seems to INCREASE. IN. VOLUME. EVERY.FIVE.MINUTES.

11) TO A GOTDAMN BLARING ALARM CLOCK THAT DOESN’T BELONG TO ME THAT HAPPENS TO BELONG TO MY NEIGHBOR THAT CONTINUES  BLARING FOR AN HOUR AFTER HAVING COME ON AT FOUR AM THAT SEEMS TO INCREASE.IN.VOLUME.EVERY.FIVE.MINUTES. THAT IS UNFORTUNATELY TUNED TO WMZQ.( country/western station here in DC)

The first words that I hear in the morning should never, under ANY circumstances be “i shoulda been a cowboy”. I can’t think of any situation where that would ever be appropriate in my life.

I soo hate those people.

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