I wrote this a year and a half ago on another blog. What is disheartening about this post, is the fact that I’m still afraid.
What is it about change that is so intimidating that we sometimes choose the relative safety of feeling unfulfilled rather than face it? It is just amazing to me me how we as adults can go through the motions for days…years even, knowing that we need more, realizing that we have the tools to accomplish so much more, all the while allowing ourselves to remain paralyzed by fear. What are we so afraid of? Are we afraid we’ll fall on our faces and fail? Or are we afraid that we will thrive in the face of change making our lives seem pointless up until that moment? I think I am afraid of the latter. If taking the steps to invite change into my reality increases my life in the ways that I know it will- what does that say about the life that I’ve lived thus far? What could I have accomplished if I had faced my fears years ago? Who would I be right now?
Standing here at the the threshold of a new phase in my life, I am overcome by the possibilities. Overcome by hope. Overcome by fear. And overcome in a lot of ways with sadness for the life I may be leaving behind.