Those close to me know that I’m going through a major transition right now. My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, regrets, second guessing…in a word CHAOS. I’m having a hard time just trying to figure out what it is that I’m supposed to be doing. I started feeling that I needed to just go away and do something by myself without having to deal with anyone. Now, those close to me also know that for a person like me, when I want to lose myself, I don’t go to a room in a quiet town so that I’m not disturbed by anyone else. I don’t want someplace where I can be alone with my thoughts. In fact, when I’ve tried this in the past, all that happens is that I end up getting distracted by my utter aloneness. When I need to be by myself and I want to feel completely anonymous, I go to the city. I go to the city or I just go where I know I will get lost in a crowd. When I’m just a face in a sea of people, I actually feel at peace and able to sort out my thoughts. WEIRDNESS. So where did I go when I was facing life changing decisions?? Why I went to the mecca that is Atlantic City!!!!
And you know what? I had a BALL!!! I love that all my friends turn their noses up at just how CORNY Atlantic City is and I have to tell you, thats why I love it. You walk around and its like every bad 80s music video extra and every bad mob movie reject is just walking around like they are NORMAL? I saw acid washed jeans. On five different people. All men. With mullets. Sensory OVERLOAD! Seriously, everytime I walked past someone, I couldn’t help but smile. It was like the whole weekend was a really bad albeit funny joke. Loved it! This was the first time I’ve been there by myself, but it turned out ok. Since I didn’t drive up ( I took Amtrak) I just stayed in the hotel that had comped me a room. I ended up gambling with $200 and walked home with **** (edited cause y’all really don’t need to know how much) so it could’ve been worse. “He” always says I would win a lot if I knew how to walk away. (The story of my life, honey). I get so caught up in winning that I forget that its REAL money. I don’t do the slots because how fun is that?! The craps tables make the commute up there worth it. I ended up next to this little old Jewish guy who was about 80. As is always the case, he was a high roller. Where I was betting $10 out the gate, all his starting bets were $100. When it was my turn to roll, I declined. He forced me to roll the dice. As I shook them, I gave him a gentle nudge “If I mess up, I don’t want to hear from you, you hear me???” He cracked up, and in a much too loud voice responded with “YOU SOUND JUST LIKE MY LADY FRIEND WHEN YOU SAID THAT”!!! I kept the dice for about 10 rolls, winning myself about $400. When I finally “messed up” he looked at me and said” YOU MUST HAVE KNOWN!! IF YOU HAD GOTTEN THAT FOUR I WAS GOING TO KISS YOU RIGHT ON THE LIPS”. Little did he know that I have a thing for little old men, and I probably would have let him. I kid you. Well maybe not but he wouldn’t have gotten any tongue!