randoms…sorta

Its been forever, I know. A whole lot has been going on and at the same time it feels like nothing has changed. I’m kind of going on autopilot right now. I did get my PMP FINALLY AT LAST. Its been kind of anticlimactic to be honest- yes I accomplished what I set out to do, but I have an overwhelming case of the now-whats going on. That in fact is another post entirely.

A couple days ago, I forgot a promise that I made to myself back in 2003. After having lost my mother in a car accident, I promised myself to not let my first reaction to traffic delays due to accidents annoy me. Knowing that on that regrettable night 8 years ago others were left with nowhere to go on a lonely dark road due to my mother’s accident I try to have compassion for those involved in accidents no matter how much of an inconvenience it might be to me. Well, traffic was blocked..terribly and my commute which is normally 25 minutes or so ended up being a little over two hours. I can’t remember ever being more frustrated! By the time I got to the office I was so pissed off that I’m sure my bad day became an even worse day for those who had to interact with me. When I later learned that two people lost their lives in this accident, I couldn’t stop crying! I was just so overcome with sadness for the families of the victims, for those who were hospitalized, hell even for those who witnessed the horrible horrible accident. I know from experience receiving THAT kind of phone call is one that you can never prepare for. I was reminded of the shock, and then the numbness that I felt when I got that call. Then the sadness of losing my mother resurfaced all over again. Its been a rough couple of days. I pray comfort and peace for the families over their devastating loss.

My family endured another loss a few months ago. My dear dear sweet perfect ( in my eyes) grandmother passed away. Speculation is a traffic accident caused some internal issues to surface and she endured a very painful month or so as a result. We miss her terribly. My family was steal reeling from the loss of my Grandad from a few years ago and this loss was almost more than we could stand. She was in every way the glue that held us together and all I can say is that we are suffering the repercussions of her not being here. Loss is such a complex ..what is it feeling? state of being? …at times it feels like a PRESENCE that follows you around every step you take, not to be eluded or sidestepped, just always there. Even when you can’t see it and think that you’ve outsmarted it, loss always finds a way to make its presence known and you have no choice but to suffer through it until you’re able to sneak away once again. It always finds you and somehow weaves itself into the fiber of who you are. Its hard.Thank God we have such a big family – regardless of whatever obstacles we face now, at the very core of me I know that we can overcome them, but only TOGETHER.

Beyond that- I don’t know. I had intended to post sometime this week and I actually had a plethora of things to talk about. But these past few days my train of thought has totally been in a different place.

I’m going to try to blog more often so that all of my ONE follower will have something to read on here. Until then….

all dressed up nowhere to go

Woke up today to a delightful email from The Man.

“I received a call from Property Management who indicated that they have been monitoring the snow situation with the roof very closely. They have determined that the snow on the roof presents a risk and they have decided to close the building until further notice. …, we need to communicate to all other HQ employees that the … location is closed until further notice.”

I had fully intended to crank the Jolly Green Giant up and go into the office today, but now it sounds as if I can forget about it . Who knows when this further notice thing is going to kick in. When the snow melts? Do they need to go up and resurface some sh*T? I mean really.

 I’M OVER IT!!

freestylin

I have been trapped in the house for five days now.

I’m SO over it.

Grateful that I’m able to work from home. WHENEVER I’m able to get back to the office at least I’ll be caught up.

How nice that my boyfriend’s two week vacation falls on a week that I’m also snowed in the house.  :-)

For my very single friend whoeats every meal outside of her home and is now stranded in the condo with 2 bottles of wine, 1 pack of Winstons and a few cans of soup…YOU KNOW YOU WRONG!

Time for you to try some  hood rat sh*t and hit your neighbors up for some vittles.

I’m really happy my power hasn’t gone out. And I’m really happy that of all the problems we’ve had with these storms, for ONCE, Comcast isn’t one of them. Who’d have thunk it?

I’m too dependent on electronics. Maybe I can find a way to simplify on 2010.

I can’t believe Fancy F.east puts shrimp in their catfood. Would I, could I ever love a cat THAT much? I’m thinking..not so much.

My thermostat seems to be stuck on its barely warm status. UGH. I can’t take it.

Modern Family tonight. Finally, something to look forward to.

Sigh.

did i mention i’m obsessed with cupcakes…

A quite unfortunate development considering I’m trying trying trying to get “the” weight off once and for all. We’re in the middle of a series of ridiculous snow storms in VA and all I want to do is hop in the Jolly Green Giant and traipse over to Buzz on Slater for some of their FABULOUS cupcakes. They are INCREDIBLE. I’d pay “good money” for just a bite of their 9:30 cupcake. OMG.

They were such a hit at a recent office party that noone complained too much when I strongarmed them politely requested donations. ( They aren’t cheap by a longshot). When The Great Snowpocalypse of 2010 is but a distant memory, you know where to find me. Look for me in a cute little cupcake shop on Slaters Lane. I’ll be the one, sitting by the window with my eyes half closed, in a moment of chocolate induced nirvana.

sweetness to go

So I was just informed that the cupcake craze has taken to the streets and now offers convenient, calorie packed curbside delivery service.

Lo and behold, Curbside Cupcake may be lurking outside your office door this very minute. How can you even resist it.

A reliable source has informed me that she just had the most delicious red velvet cupcake ever. I can’t stand it.

I wish I worked downtown. SIGH.

24,15,37,25,13…8

Today is one of those days that I wish I had worked from home.Work is insane to say the least. I keep saying I will take a day off soon but I know that probably won’ t happen. When you’ve been heel to pavement for longer than you can even recount- sitting still only allows you time to stew over sh*t that still needs to be done. Who’d have ever thought that I would forget how to be lazy? Surely, its the end times. Gone are the comforts of eight hour work days. I arrive at the office when its dark and I head for home when its darker and sometimes still have to log in when I get in the house. New contracts, low headcount and no overtime pay makes for a fairly high stress situation.  Its funny, I left my old job, a major corporation, with “the grass is always greener” mentality. Its surprising that many companies, regardless of size face the same exact issues with high turnover, efficiency, and morale.

When I hit the mega millions, I’m really going to miss this sh*t, for real.

off the top of my head

I miss blogging.

2009 was pretty much a crap year- I’m grateful to have gotten through it. Hopefully lessons learned will help me have a marvelous 2010.

I’m hopelessly addicted to FB.

Who cares who Tiger is sleeping with?

The OSIM igallop …i mean, why?

Going without meat, sugar and carbs for 21 days is much much easier than I thought.

Redefining friendships must mean I’m growing up- finally…right?

Looking forward to Italy in August with my soon to be 16 year old.

I hope this crockpot full of vegetarian chili turns out right. I’m starved.

I need to stop putting off this PMP exam. I’m utterly intimidated by the whole thing. Ironic thing is the longer I put it off, the higher my chances of not even passing. UGH. Wish I had my daugther’s brain right about now.

Work is INTERESTING right now. You figure out if thats a good thing or a bad thing. My mouth is shut on the matter.

I can’t believe its almost a whole year since my G’pop passed away. Feels like we’re still reeling from the initial shock of it.

I’m happy to be me.

My friends are the most supportive, loving, brutally honest people in the world. How did I get so lucky?

Does the fact that its harder to not cuss for a month than to eat the things I like speak on my character?LOL. So shameful. People are stupid though and they try me just too much…

Grateful for sharing Friday with Dina, Cathy and Fran. That was a POWERFUL experience not soon to be forgotten. THANK YOU.

“Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.”-Les Brown

 

Ch-Ch-Changes!!

So today I took the plunge and tried to make a MAJOR change in my life. It was scary as hell!! I had to talk to the two men in my life who always give it to me straight, no chaser. After a lot of convincing, I think I finally got them on board. Its taken my almost eight years to “step out on faith” but I did. and honestly, despite how it turns out- it just felt good to make that decision and actually see it through to fruition.

And now all I can do is wait.

To see if the timing was actually right for me.

To see if the stars have aligned in my favor.

To see if its just my time.

God I hope it is.