do overs, comcast sucks, the pink eye, angel wife and more

Ever had one of those days where you felt that if you could JUST start over from the beginning, that all would be well in the world? You get about half way through days like this and give  up because if things continue to progress in the same manner, really, what would be the point of putting forth any effort. SIGH. THIS HAS BEEN MY WHOLE ENTIRE WEEK.  Jesus take the wheel, the keys,the car……heck,drop me off somewhere and please please please pick me up later when order has been restored. I got a call on Monday night telling me that my godfather would be getting buried the NEXT day. Who waits til the day BEFORE a funeral …HOURS even to pass off this kind of information?? My godfather had been ill for the past 20 odd years. Several strokes had rendered him paralyzed, and added to that problems with diabetes, kidney failure…he’s been holding on with the help of a DEVOTED ANGEL WIFE for all this time. She passed last year and he finally crossed over last week. Now, this man had about 9 children, but guess who’s photo he kept in his wallet all these years? Yup, everytime I saw him, he would show me my busted high school photo- the only pic other than his wife- that he kept there. So of course, as late of notice that I got, there was no way in three hells I was tryin to NOT be there. I made some calls to have some folks cover me at the office the next day. I got to the funeral a tad bit late, it was one of the more “interesting” services that  I have EVER EVER EVER been to, and all that I can respectfuly say is that my strong strong desire to be cremated with a small memorial service were just reinforced. One hundred times over.

Moving on.

So of course the day after the funeral-Wednesday-, I had two hundred fifty emails in my inbox at work. Voicemail on my office phone and work cell phone-full. This is where the giving up part comes in because..whats the point. Ifigured I’d go home, get into some comfy clothes and fall asleep on the couch watching cable. WRONG! WRONG! The cable was OUT. Cable, internet AND PHONE- DOA. Of course, calling Comcast won us the privilige of waiting on hold for ONE HOUR AND THIRTY MINUTES. Maybe thats a little misleading to say because it gives the impression that someone picked up after one hour and thirty minutes. No. After one hour and thirty minutes of some damn elevator music featuring a stupid cheerful flautist, we gave up.Cause really, what would be the point.

flute.jpg (Side note.Whoever is responsible for choosing the “hold” music at Comast- I hate you. Dont play some cheerful azz music that brings forth images of butterlies flitting and brooks burbling!! Don’t you know that if your local office wasn’t closed that da*n flute alone would’ve had me in my car on my way there to act a fool!!! With all the foolishness that your customer’s endure- you should be playing something more morose…like a da*n bassoon… )) 

 The next day we were promised a visit out from the tech. Meanwhile, I had awaken to a nicely crusted film over my right eye. Since I had no internet and had some things that I HAD TO GET DONE- I got in my truck with my one good eye and trekked out to Ashburn, where I was treated like a leper as “girl don’t you know you got the pink eye!?” AARRRGGGHHH. I stayed at work for about three hours and then headed home quickly to wait for the tech who did show up at 5:30pm. Apparently, our lovely WMZQ fans next door ran into the cable line or something with their truck and “we tried to tell you we knocked on the door but noone answered”. Maybe the should have tried adveritising it on WMZQ on a commerical break at 4 in the morning. “This just in. Would the people who live at **** please contact your cable provider. I think we fuqed your situation up..just fyi”..yea that would have gotten our attention because hell- we would have already been awake. Buttholes. 

So right now, I am sitting here mapquesting the urgent care center near me to get some drops or something for this infectious eye situation I have going on. Don’t even ask about Valentine’s Day. LOL. I did get a very nice surprise in the mail, but I won’t talk about that because with the week I’ve had I haven’t even had a chance to thank the sender yet, but it did generate a smile in the midst of mayhem. I don’t have a ton of friends, but the ones I have are keepers.

Through all the madness- I am lucky to be alive and lucky to have a new week to look forward to ( hopefully) for another shot at doing it right. Hope your week went well. 

Pssssst!

tellit1.jpg 

Do me a favor.

If you see me online, in a personal ad soliciting men for chex…RUNTELDAT.

If you see pictures of me that show me doing things or showing things that are inappropriate…RUNTELDAT.

If you see me online disrespecting those close to me, or disrespecting myself….RUNTELDAT.

If you see me on the street walking with someone that I’m clearly not supposed to be with…RUNTELDAT.

If you hear me talking, and I’m saying something that opposes everything I allegedly stand for ….RUNTELDAT.

Please. I beg you to do that, because I pride myself on being the same person no matter who I’m around. I don’t pretend to be someone that I’m not, I don’t get on this blog and present myself as having something that I don’t. I have issues as we all do, but my life is pretty damn good. I’m sorry if yours isn’t. God blessed me with the ability to express myself creatively on paper. I’m sorry if your life doesn’t come with spellcheck. I am blessed and I am not ashamed to share that. For those that know me and come to this blog to share that, I welcome you. For those that THINK they know me, “trust and believe” while this blog is all me, it is not nearly all of me. Its not even a drop in the ocean of my life. No, its not much. But one thing that it is…is that its mine. Its all about ME. It has nothing to do with you, or whomever else you want to make it about. It is about me. It is mine. Period.

Hi. My name is dearlesley, and this is my blog.

Jesus, take the wheel

morning.jpg

 I like to wake up:

1) to soft kisses

2) to the smell of bacon cooking in the kitchen (yum)

3) peacefully, with sunbeams dancing across my face gently coaxing me from my slumber

4) WHEN I’M READY TO GET UP

 I do not like to wake up:

1) Because I have to pee

2) To the phone ringing

3) To a house thats too hot/too cold

4) Alone

5) To a blaring alarm clock

6) To a blaring alarm clock that doesn’t belong to me

7) To a blaring alarm clock that doesn’t belong to me that happens to belong to my neighbor

8) To a blaring alarm clock that doesn’t belong to me that happens to belong to my neighbor that continues blaring for an hour

9) To a blaring alarm clock that doesn’t belong to me that happens to belong to my niehgbor that continues blaring for an hour after having come on at FOUR AM

10) To a blaring alarm clock that doesn’t belong to me that happens to belong to my neighbor that continues blaring for an hour after having come on at FOUR AM that seems to INCREASE. IN. VOLUME. EVERY.FIVE.MINUTES.

11) TO A GOTDAMN BLARING ALARM CLOCK THAT DOESN’T BELONG TO ME THAT HAPPENS TO BELONG TO MY NEIGHBOR THAT CONTINUES  BLARING FOR AN HOUR AFTER HAVING COME ON AT FOUR AM THAT SEEMS TO INCREASE.IN.VOLUME.EVERY.FIVE.MINUTES. THAT IS UNFORTUNATELY TUNED TO WMZQ.( country/western station here in DC)

The first words that I hear in the morning should never, under ANY circumstances be “i shoulda been a cowboy”. I can’t think of any situation where that would ever be appropriate in my life.

I soo hate those people.

riddle me this

This has been driving me nuts today. A friend sent this riddle to me. When I realized I didn’t have the answer, I went to her so that she could solve this for me.

This fool’s response to me was ” I don’t know either”.

Why would she do that to me? I’ve been obsessing over it, googling it, and I’m not satisfied with any answers that I’ve found, not even the simplest one.( which makes the most sense).

What the crap.

I turn polar bears white

and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you squeeze me, I’ll pop.
If you look at me, you’ll pop.

Can you guess the riddle?

Some answers I’ve heard: ice, pressure, cold, water, and oddly enough “Michael Jackson”

I don’t have time for ish like this. I have work to do.