for shame

 A while ago I attempted to give up celebrity blogging sites. My reasons weren’t noble in the least- I just found that way too much of my time was being spent visiting these fluff sites countless times a day.

Today, I feel disgusted and sickened that my support of these blogs essentially contributes to just how sick and twisted they are. Whille visiting T.MZ today I was completely taken aback to see a raggedy camp of paparazzi idiots standing post outside the funeral home where H.eath Led.gers body rests. Their hopes are to catch the mourners as they come to take part in the viewing that is to take place today.

Sure I know that a lot of deaths are “newsworthy”. We see presidents lying in state for the whole country to mourn publicly. We see their families performing their duties stoicly, standing emotionless, perhaps sedated even just to get through the formalities. What we all are spared are those initial private moments when the pain is freshest and despair cuts deep. When they are free to take their time and deal with the shock of what is really happening.  How we can feel that its newsworthy to share with the world such a private moment breaks my heart.

The lowest point of my life wasn’t the awful moment when I learned of my mother’s accident. It wasn’t even the funeral or standing at her gravesite, telling myself that “wow, this is REALLY happening”. The worst part of the whole experience was walking through the doors of the funeral home for the first time to see what was left of her. And for the family and friends of this man, that is being stolen. And my actions over the past couple of years serve as an accessory to this vile act.

The level of depravity in what is happening is only trumped by the fact that we tell ourselves that what we do is harmless. That visiting the sites everyday all day has nothing to do with the vultures that suck the lives out of the people they stalk tormenting them and driving them to all sorts of crazy behavior( living life in a fishbowl cannot be fun, I don’t care how much of an attention whore you might be). All this for what? So we can have interesting pictures to copy/paste and pass around to our friends? Get the fuq….

 I’m disappointed in myself because I know that after the initial shock of whats happening right now wears off, I will slip right back into the same habits- allowing myself to forget that these are REAL people who feel and think and exist the same way that I do and then convincing myself that they signed on for all this.

Right now as the family of this troubled man prepare to say their final goodbyes,  I know thats not true at all.

Ass.

I am DISGUSTED by this.  Seriously, it makes me sick that people can make light of situations like this.

I don’t even want to talk about it.

JUST PLAY THE GAME!!

 

The Usual Suspects met together this weekend for yet another memorable event. How do I even know these people?! From onefromphilly and her son demonstrating the Superman dance, to Sissy walking around with a single lit candle in her hand, to Hostess coming in heels and STILL managing to take most of us out- there was just too much going on. Needless to say we all had a BLAST.  We ended up battling with a group of elementary school kids, complete with their own Baby Beyonce. ( HOT MESS). What started out as fun and games got real serious. AKA Killuh’s eyes sort of glazed over and I think she flashbacked to her days at WestPoint- she was in true stealth mode. I was actually a little frightened. The kids got the best of us, unfortunately and all I could do to get them back was wait until they fell down or something so I could come and get as many cheap shots in as possible. I tried several times to get sympathy from my would be assailants by telling them that I had already been hit and they couldn’t hit me again. One cute little girl with pigtails and sparkly eyes just eyed me up and down, said “un hunh” and waited for my pack to reset itself. Then the little heffa said “I can shoot you now though” sniped me, and then ran off. I do intend to go back and find her so that I can settle the score. Trust.

I didn’t make it out the the dinner after as I needed to be at home to watch my Giants play. Words fail me right now, but to say that I’m excited would be one of the greatest understatements of our time. Giants are going to the Superbowl baby! What?!

hahahahaha

hot fool azz mess

i.am.soooooo.excited.

my heart was in my throat for the last two minutes of the game, but my boys pulled thru. O.M.G. 

Miss B, here’s to you! Aunts K & K who have trekked across the country to cheer on their Cowgirls, the journey stops here

The Giants are headed for the NFC Championships to face Green Bay next week.

I can hardly stand it.

Eli, you know I got you, right?!!

Whoooooooooo!

hmmm

This is still too much hair, but what do you think about this? I think the darker ‘do makes her look much younger and fresher.

lazy sunday

Today has been a GOOD day. I mean its been a good weekend but today has just been GOOD! Went to church with my family today= the sermon was just what I needed. I love those services that feel tailor made for me on that particular day. From the moment I walked in-it was all about me, all about my faith all about a particular situation that I’m going through. I can say that I left the service today feeling more hopeful and peaceful about the things that I’m facing right now. Afterwards, I spent some time with my grandparents. They have been married over 60 years, have had 18 children over 100 grandchildren and still act like newlyweds.  There is no other woman that I’ve ever met that I would ever want to pattern myself after.She is cherished, adored…she is truly loved and I’m glad that I have been blessed enough to be witness to it. I left “home” feeling renewed and refreshed. I’m so blessed in my life, man. Thats all I need to say about it.

i’m a bad bad mother

 

K and I were just discussing a very difficult exam that she took today in her Honors Algebra II class. The poor child was distraught so much so that she was starting to look ill. Being the loving, attentive mother that I am, I of course tried to get to the bottom of it right away.

Me: Baby whats wrong??Are you ok?

K: I guess I’m fine

Me: You guess?! What is going on? Are you PMSing or something

K:  Ew, mother. No I think its just my nerves.

Me:  I’m sure it isn’t that bad. Tell me whats going on.

K: Its just that the math test today was REALLY hard. I think I REALLY messed up the last question.

Me ( Not too concerned as she has the highest grade in the class): Well, what happened.

K: I’m not sure. All I know is that everyone else said they got -8 as the answer….and somehow I got the square root of 15!.

Me: BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAH

K: Gee thanks. I feel a lot better now.

Me: Don’t worry baby. Maybe you’ll get extra points for creativity.

why must i cry?

Shameful.