full set $25

Back when I was a broke college kid attending the University of MD, one of the highlighs of my week was going to get my n.ails done. I’m talking a full set of a.crylic nails, air.brush desig.n- the works, honey! I couldn’t afford the $5 extra it would’ve cost for a handpainte.d desi.gn but still- my n.ails always looked nice, at least by my standards back then. The shop I went to was one frequented by broke ass college kids such as myself. To get there, we simply took the campus shuttle to PG Plaza and went to the little shop set up in the back of one of the department stores. They had perhaps 3 stations set up with middle aged Korean nail technicians who spoke nary a word of English. In the back was one guy who I assume had been chosen to be the ONE PERSON  trained to use the a.ir b.rush. I think that explained his overall stank attitude. He was rude and I always ended up picking something I didn’t really like because he was just evil. (I felt pressured). It wasn’t the nicest experience, but at the time, it actually seemed to be an indulgence.

Times have surely changed!

I stopped in a small shop  in MD this weekend for a p.edicure. The owners of the ship were a hip young Asian couple who greeted you at the door  with a smile. As I sat at the p.edicure station, I started paying attention to the n.ail technicians as they started arriving in the shop. ( I had tried to get there before opening so that I wouldn’t have to wait, but there were like 15 people already outside). While  I watched these girls walk in, I started to wonder if maybe I was in the wrong profession. Each sauntered in, looking like they’d just gotten in from a fabulous Friday night in the city. Each one of those heffas had shoes that were WAY more expensive than the ones I was wearing and they were rocking designer jeans. Those highlights? Honey, they couldn’t have been less than $300. Their faces were beat the hell down with flawless makeup. And their Movados were way newer than mine. I won’t even talk about the TIffany’s jewelry. OR the damn handbags.

WTF.

I mean I am paying them to scrape the crust off my ugly feet, and those heffas come in here looking like a million bucks! I comforted myself by allowing myself to blieve that everything they had on was fake, that they probably knew folks who had a business selling bootleg gear on the street. ( hey its ugly but it sure beats feeling jealous of those hos). I think I’ll go back in a couple weeks and try to befriend one, learn their secrets. Maybe they all have some money invested in the shop and that explains their fabulousness. Maybe they all live at home with their parents and spend all their money on looking good. Maybe I could study for a nail license so I too could rock the fabulousness effortlessly. How hard can it be to scrape a corn?

Or maybe, just maybe, those beetches are fakin the funk and and none of that shit is real.

Man it bet not be real.

I think its real though.

I hate them.

Just for that Imma get extra crusty next time. When they spend the $40 from my p.edicure, they will damn sure remember it.

The injustice of it all!

can’t we all just get along

Dailymotion blogged video
Rosie and Hasselcrack Fight!
Video sent by TheDlisted

one day rosie is gonna haul off and smack the holy hell out of this girl!!

riddle me this

This has been driving me nuts today. A friend sent this riddle to me. When I realized I didn’t have the answer, I went to her so that she could solve this for me.

This fool’s response to me was ” I don’t know either”.

Why would she do that to me? I’ve been obsessing over it, googling it, and I’m not satisfied with any answers that I’ve found, not even the simplest one.( which makes the most sense).

What the crap.

I turn polar bears white

and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you squeeze me, I’ll pop.
If you look at me, you’ll pop.

Can you guess the riddle?

Some answers I’ve heard: ice, pressure, cold, water, and oddly enough “Michael Jackson”

I don’t have time for ish like this. I have work to do.

“World’s Shortest Fairy Tale”

 

cute email forward I received …. 

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?” The girl said, “NO!” And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants.
THE END

just norwood ( monica, this one’s for u!!!)

BWAHAHAHAHHAAH!!!!

fuq oj

 

I received a forward today from a very level headed friend of mine concering OJ getting kicked out of a steakhouse in Kentucky recently. I know, who cares right?

http://movies.msn.com/news/article.aspx?news=261429

I saw the article in the paper yesterday and kept it moving. Nothing that OJ does these days is worthy of attention from me. What generated a response from me though, were the comments that my friend added to the email:

“ I saw this today and thought I would send it around. It is still interesting what a racial divide exists on this issue. I remember coming back to work when the verdict came down and the way that people carried on. It wasn’t because a man was acquitted for lack of evidence it was because a BLACK man was acquitted for lack of evidence. Particularly interesting are the comments posted on the message board. People on the board say it is not racism. They know they are lying to themselves. Whether he did or not is irrelevant. They were not able to prove it and still found a way to screw him out of his money. “

I mean, seriously.

mini me?

 I am so proud of my daughter. I am so incredibly proud of her that I could just pop. Seriously.  When i look at her, I see the best parts of myself. when I look at her, I also see strength that I never had at that age, and at times struggle to find even now.

Simply put, my daughter is the bomb.

She brought her interim progress report home the other day. She got As in most of her classes( and we’re talking 95% and above): 2nd year spanish,honors language arts, honors algebra, honors reading, honors science, GYM( which is a miracle in itself), strings. One B in Honors social studies but not to worry, to date she has a 97 in that class. Since i’m accustomed to seeing grades like this from her, you’d think that I’d be over it by now. Not my dramatic azz….I got all teary and huggy, which any 12  soon to be 13 year old hates.

“Baby, mommy is SOOOOO proud of you.Don’t you feel proud of yourself”

“Proud of myself? what did i do?”
“What did you do? Look at these grades! You are amazing and you should be very proud of yourself”

She looked at me like i growing a horn out of my head and goes.

“Mommy, its nothing special. I just go and do my work and come home.”

Of course that made me even prouder and even MORE teary. Maybe when she’s a little older she’ll understand what i’m feeling. Perhaps she’ll understand how amazing she is for being 12 years old and expecting no less than excellence of herself. I really hope that she maintains this standard throughout her schooling and throughout life. Its exciting being able to see her develop into this incredible young lady. Hopefully, we’ll be able to keep her focused and on track. I can’t even imagine what greatness lies in store for her.

Knowing her though, I’m sure she has it all mapped out.

I wish I could say she got that confidence and dedication of purpose from me, but you all know me better than that by now. She could teach ME a thing or two in that department.

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Diego Coralles

so today has been  pretty much noneventful. except when “he” called me to tell me to check out espn.

 Diego Coralles was killed in a motorcyle accident on Sunday night in Vegas.

Huh?

Did anyone see the Coralles Castillo fight back in 05? That had to be the best fight of our generation. I was incredibly caught up in the drama, and the intensity of that match. Coralles demonstrated such an incredible amount of heart and tenacity that I  found myself amazed by him the whole night. And now he’s gone because of a motorcyle accident. No Coralles wasn’t the GREATEST fighter of our time. He probably wouldn’t even make the top ten on most of our lists. But his courage and grit allowed him to take part in one of the greatest fights in history and for this at least he’ll be remembered.

They will rebroadcast this fight on Showtime on Friday.

wow