boosters ruined my life

I’ve posted before about the nail shop I go to in a not so fabulous neighborhood. I travel from my comfy home in VA every two weeks to MD to get my treatments because of habit and also because they have thus far, done the best job on my nails and feet.

Yea so. That’s about to stop. I finally realized that unfortunately, I might be a little ..I don’t want to say bourgie because I really don’t identify with that. Maybe I’m just to…not ghetto enough…to frequent the establishment any longer. Yea thats it. My ghetto game is not up to par at ALL. Humph and to hell with it.

I’ve taken a lot from those folks over the years. I mean I’ve been offended and green with envy at the designer-like gear the nail technicians rock constantly. I’ve gotten agitated by the bad ass little kids constantly running around. I even turn a blind eye to the boosters who roam the aisle selling everything from tube socks to lacy underwear. I mean I take it, you know! I’ve just endured so much all in the name of the best french manicure I’ve personally ever had on fingers and toes. But this weekend, one of the most special boosters came into the door and I knew from the minute he stepped across the threshold- it would be a lifechanging moment. He just had that look of ” Bitches, Imma about to change your world”. I can’t explain it but I have a sense about these things. I didn’t know what to expect though. Who knew what he’d pull out of his black canvas bag. I do know that when he reached in, for a moment- my heart fluttered. Should I duck? What will happen? What he pulled out confirmed my earlier suspiscions. No,he didn’t have the latest bootleg Star Trek DVD to sell. Neither did he gave any of the most special bars of soap and deoderant sticks that are normally sold there- two for five dollars.  Nope. Nothing as practical as that. This man was advertising and offering at super low discount rates, bottom dollar prices, best investment you ever made- PEPPER SPRAY, get it now only two left. Pepper spray. I may not be all of it, but I really honestly am sitting there thinking, God please don’t let anyone I know see me up in here today. Please and I promise. To make things worse, as I’m wriggling my toes trying to get Ms A’s attention so she can get to the corns asap so I can get my fancy ass up out of there, the fabulous young thing next to me, in all her self applied down to there weaved glory,yells out, to noone in particular, as though someone were paying her ass for advertising- ” Yea, that stuff works cause that one time the cops sprayed it on me….”. I’m sorry that I can’t tell you what the end results of the said WTF-are-u-talking-about  incident were, because at that point I started singing out loud to myself so as to drown her out. Amidst all that foolery, I’m sure I ended up looking like the crazy one. I’m special like that. Get there.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get around to getting my nails done that day. I am saddened that I am forced to end such a long relationship with the proprietors of the establishment but I really don’t think I belong there anymore. After I paid for their services, I stepped back to take in the salon one final time. A smiling Ms A waved to me, telling me that she’ll see me next time and to bring my daughter with me. I shook my head slowly and backed out the door.

No Ms A, you will not and I shall not.  Now I will end up paying more I’m sure at a new nail salon, and change my whole routine- but what choice do I have? A beetch whose been pepper sprayed just might be a beetch who’d cut ya, and honey, a beetch like that does NOT need to be sitting next to me, while I’m immobile with my feet stuck in the water. No ma’am and good day.

…

I knew that booster would change the game.

I told you.

Precious life

 

Its been forever and a day. Life has really…been testing my resolve as of late. In major ways. But I’m still standing and still grateful. Through the tears and the pain, God is blessing me and I am surrounded by people who love me and lift me up when I would otherwise fall. For all of you, and you know who you are- where would I be without your support and love!?

From all that is in me, and all that I am…THANK YOU. THANK YOU. and THANK YOU.

L.

to be young again

But seriously. I’m going to have to borrow someone’s elementary aged school kid for regular movie dates throughout 2009. I suffered the embarassment before when Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone came out. When I realized that there were tons of adults like me who were Harry obsessed, I got over my shame and just went alone for the remaining Harry Potter flicks. I really don’t think I’m going to have the same luck next year. The absolute BEST movies for 2009 are in fact kids movies. I mean animated films in all their Pixar glory type films. I.CANNOT.WAIT. A movie outing yesterday that went way left field resulted in me sitting for The Tale of Despereaux. I wish I could say that my mature taste in film made me desperately bored and agitated that I was immersed in a theatre full of squirmy kids and that I suffered impatiently until the end of said film until the moment I could regain my sophisticated consciousness and enjoy some stimulating adult conversation. Nah, bruh. I barely blinked during the PREVIEWS. They had me at “Please turn off cell phones and crying babies” ( or something like that). I gasped and giggled along with the little kids. I nudged the person next to me at the really scary parts. I whispered loudly when I figured I knew what was happening. I laughed. I got teary. And then the actual movie started. Sigh.  Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. K would never go see these movies with me. (Mother…no). We have had numerous  “if I have to watch one more movie where animals are given human mannerisms I’ll scream” conversations. I can’t even bribe her lil behind to go. So that leaves me sitting here, trying to find out when those wonderful movies will be featured next year. I need a game plan. I figure I can borrow my sister’s three kids, one at a time for the first three. Might have to pay for a couple cousins for others, but I’m not above it. If worse comes to worst, I’ll wait until a family that looks like me strolls into a theatre and follow behind them closely. I’ll clutch my popcorn tight and sit right next to the youngest kid. No seat in between. And I’ll possibly make friends with the parents so that hopefully maybe one day, they’ll consider letting me borrow their kid for the next premiere. Yea. Its that serious. Kids movies rule.

where has the time gone

It took me longer than normal to get into Christmas spirit this year. I think I haven’t really come to grasp with how quickly this year has passed. Honestly, I feel as if I just celebrated the fourth of July and here we are at the end of another year. I managed to get the things on my list about an hour before the stores closed on Christmas Eve. Although its become something of a tradition for me to do my shopping on Christmas Eve, I think its safe to say that from now on, its time for me to try something new-namely finishing all my shopping before December even gets here. My nerves are bad and after I had to literally talk myself out of dragging that lady out of her car and beating her down in the parking lot- I think its best not to put myself in such stressful situations. Now, I’m coming down off my sugar and food induced high and trying to put things in perspective for the new year. I have a new job that I really like, some new friends, and a new perspective on what it really takes to make me happy. I’m not making any resolutions this year. I’m not really making any plans. I think I’m going to just focus on the things that bring joy to my life and hope that I do the things that I need to do to increase my joy. Its been a year filled with ups, downs and in betweens. Surprisingly, I wouldn’t change much of what I have been through. I have had to learn some pretty harsh and painful lessons over the year- lessons that I needed to learn that I feel have helped me to become an even better person. Who knows what 2009 will bring. One can only hope and have faith that it is a year of abundance, and joy and growth-spiritually, mentally, professionaly, in all aspects. I am so thankful for so many things today. Thankful for my family who I haven’t spent a lot of time with over the past year but who have been there for me, loving me from the arms length distance I have been holding them at for whatever reason. I love where I come from and realize that I won’t get anywhere without their love and support. I’m thankful for love- enduring lasting love that has grown and changed along with me as I’ve grown and changed. I’m thankful for friends. Friends who make me laugh, friends who let me cry and friends who make me see myself when I’m being a big dummy- who don’t back down when they have me against a wall and raging at the world. I’m thankful for my daughter….my daughtet who is the abosolute best thing in my life. Who is living proof that I contributed something beautiful and RIGHT to this world. My daughter who makes me laugh, who knows when I will cry, who makes me stronger and just makes me so proud to KNOW her, let alone be her mother.  I am thankful for my father, who still makes me feel that he will protect me from the world everytime I talk to him. Despite differences we’ve had over the past couple years, we both know that I will always be Daddy’s Little Girl and it gives me more comfort than I can even express. I’m just thankful to be entering into my 35th year with the foundation that those around me have helped me to create, to stand on, and to plant my feet firmly as I prepare for the new year full of unknowns. God has truly been good to me. Better to me that I have felt worthy of, but He has been SO good and I”m thankful. Thankful. Hopeful. Happy.

I’m supposed to be blogging everyday for a month. For those who have visited the original LAB, you may know this probably won’t happen. Just in case I revert back to my old ways, have a WONDERFUL, BLESSED and HAPPY New Year. You deserve it!!

dumb and dumber

The sad sad part of this election is that this sign could just as well read “Shrek and Donkey” and they’d still get votes over Obama JUST BECAUSE …well you know why.

A new batch

Why on earth are these little girls standing out on the side of Leesburg PIke, jumping up and down in teeny shorts and tank tops talkin bout some “CAR WASH TODAY”. Aside from the fact that its not THAT nice out today, these girls can’t be more than 13 years old!! What kinda message is being sent? Sure they are little girls and its not like they’re naked but -god help- they are skimpily dressed and whether or not they aware ( those heffas know) they are using their not yet developed sexuality to get attention. I looked over at the line for the car wash. All the vehicles were filled with families or women. Not one car with just a single man in it. I guess they don’t know what to think or which way to look. Maybe they think the second they pull into the car wash, the Dateline guy will shove a mic into the drivers side window asking them sternly, “why did you come here”.

K, just in case you’re reading…if Mommy ever sees your lil azz on side the road jumping up and down for any reason at all, car wash be damned I will shut.it.down.  You KNOW how I do.

Parents, get your kids and don’t teach your little girls at such a young age that its okay to use their bodies to get what they want. There are already enough old hoes out here to contend with. We don’t need a new breed out here promising fresh bootie AND a clean car to boot. The men wouldn’t stand a chance.

how to pull a fast one on the paparazzi

if you ever want to go incognito and enjoy a nice relaxing day at the beach and have everyone stare at you without bringing any attention to yourself- do the opposite of EVERYTHING you see in this pic.

She could’ve at least put them big burly mofos in some bermuda shorts or something. Ugh.

the ringer

Please. God.

Even though I’m with the Obama ticket during this election and I have every confidence that should everyone get off their butts and vote- there is no reason he should not be the next president of the United State- God, just in case this election is business as usual and somehow someway the Republicans find their way back into the White House. Lord above, PLEASE do not let this woman be this dumb in real life. Please let her be faking to get us to let our guards down, and please let her end up being a force to be reckoned with during this debate. Please. I beg you. I want this more than I want to get these thighs down to a manageable size. I want this more than I want that trip to Greece I’ve been planning. I need her to be their secret weapon and I want us to be shocked and awed by her political astuteness. Because Lord. If she is really this dumb. IF this broad is really this clueless. And people still support her. And stupid people like that dumb Elizabeth keep defending that “she has been in charge of a brigade” so therefore is qualified- I will lose all faith in this country and I won’t know what to do with myself. It will be like some dumb alternative universe where everything wrong is suddenly right and I will have to relearn everything that I know today. Lord. You and I know how long it takes me to adapt to that kind of change and my plate is very full. I just cannot adjust to an alternative universe such as this as this point in my life so I beg that this turns around somehow. Because between you and me- She is actually dumber than GW and…..I mean how is it possible?  I was worried when she made the comments about her foreign policy experience being based upon the fact that they “keep an eye out ” for the Russians across the way and because Canada is their neighbor. ( No, did she really say that??).  I know. I know. As a democrat I should be happy that she’s making such a fool of herself and that this situation should make it a little easier for us to get in the White House- but Lord, as an American- well, its just not right. She KNOWS she’s wrong but I forgive her. I forgive her because I was raised to forgive and I forgive her because  I know in my heart of hearts that she is faking. She is taking us on a long ride and tonight-Tonight during the debates we will all know why she was chosen and we will all crnge a little at the formidable force that she has been revealed to be.

Please.

Because I can’t believe that ONE person would be allowed to be THIS stupid in real life. It goes against everything I believe in.

Please. Let her be smart.

Thank you in advance.

Amen.

Ch-Ch-Changes!!

So today I took the plunge and tried to make a MAJOR change in my life. It was scary as hell!! I had to talk to the two men in my life who always give it to me straight, no chaser. After a lot of convincing, I think I finally got them on board. Its taken my almost eight years to “step out on faith” but I did. and honestly, despite how it turns out- it just felt good to make that decision and actually see it through to fruition.

And now all I can do is wait.

To see if the timing was actually right for me.

To see if the stars have aligned in my favor.

To see if its just my time.

God I hope it is.

Stupid beauty queen, redux

I tell you, after watching Palin make an idiot of herself with Katie Couric

I couldn’t help but remember THIS foolery.

This race has turned into such a damn joke.